You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
accomplished twins. life is a go
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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