I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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