So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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