just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My ATM looks so different sober.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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