I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
