You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize