worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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