called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
two words: eviction party
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize