I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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