Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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