Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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