Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You are a booty call, not a friend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
