yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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