did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize