fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
