I'm jealous of your bromance
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
