i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
