i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
