I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
