this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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