Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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