its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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