His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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