its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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