just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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