How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
