I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
