if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need water and some morals
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
