ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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