Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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