I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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