Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
