I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
