I want to have your abortion
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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