Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
