so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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