Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize