girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
