What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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