now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
