summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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