"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize