I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
