Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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