if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
