I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
