Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
