Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize