Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
