The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
