Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
