my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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