I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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