If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
