And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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