is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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