i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
whose parrot is this?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
