I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
