Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize