"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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