Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
