found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
