I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
