was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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