White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
