Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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