Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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