Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize