I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
