Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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