so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
