just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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