he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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