I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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